28-03-94:

I am iron


I am iron. It is my name and it is my nature. Below me there is concrete, horizontal slabs of it. Beside me there is concrete, a vertical expanse. To the other side there is tarmac. Behind me there is infinite empty distance, but ahead of me there is soft and fragile human flesh.

The flesh holds my brother steel. It thinks a handfull of metal can cover a whole and protoplasmic body. I replay the sounds the flesh has made, "Buddy got a light?" then "Okay buddy, now the wallet" then Hurry buddy," before he pushed my brother steel into my solidity. He has just realised that there is something wrong. It was the sound of the steel on my iron. He is a very stupid flesh, he does not run. "What you got buddy, some kind of armour? Well, your face ain't got no armour so you just give me that wallet, understand" He really is stupid. Anybody else would have realised I wouldn't be grinning so hard if I had anything to fear from him. He pushes the steel into my face, then his eyes bug and his mouth drops and the scream chokes in his throat trying to get out. I have taken my brother steel from him. Some of the flesh came with it. He stares stupidly at the liquid red bursting from the place where the flesh is gone. He has only now realised he has no power over me. . Now he looks into my face and into my eyes. With the sight of death, he sees me for what I am. He knows that I cannot let him live after he has seen my true nature, he knows that he is to die.

The flesh is fragile. It tears easily under my fingers, sending more red to join the stream that merges with the black of the gutter and the dark of the night. His face relaxes and his eyes wait for the last of his soul to leave the flesh and here I feel a tiny thread of emotion, a distant hatred for this creature. That such a tiny fragile veesel should be the one that carries the most precious giftthat any entity could desire was such a bitterness to my substance that I could feel the injustice of it even without feelings. I watched almosst satisfied as the flesh faded and fell to join its lost liquid. I did not watch for long.

The halfway feeling faded and I continued on my way, hiding my nature from the flesh. I am iron and I am proof against anything that any flesh can do but I have no soul and so I am vulnerable. I must hide from those who can do nothing against me but exist. I am iron and I can never hate yet still I can hate the flesh I can never fear. I am iron and I would be flesh.